Is buying a property now a good idea

A common mistake couples make when buying a property together is treating it as an emotional decision. They believe that their relationship becomes stronger or more secure when there's a financial connection. Your partner is so committed to you that they are willing to share a debt.

The reality is, the financial tie is a business arrangement — a joint venture. Payments are made with cash, not love. The lender doesn't see the same loving relationship you do; they see only an account number with two names. We'll discuss the lender soon. The main point is that such a financial commitment should be treated as a business decision.

This is more relevant now than ever. Cohabiting couples are the fastest-growing family type in the UK, with numbers increasing from 1.5 million in 1996 to around 3.6 million today, according to the Office for National Statistics. Over half of those cohabiting couples now co-own a property together, and the combined value of assets held between cohabiting partners has been estimated to average around £394,000. That's a significant sum to have tied up in a relationship without treating it like the business arrangement it effectively becomes.

What Do You Want to Achieve From Buying a Property With Your Partner?

• We have children, and we want them to have security
• I want to profit from investing in the property in the future
• I don't want to keep throwing money away by renting with no return

The first reason may seem emotionally driven, but it makes sound business sense. Investing in a property now could financially benefit your children in the long term. It will also provide a roof over their heads while they grow.

It is more logical from a business perspective than:

"We want to show that our relationship is serious and that we are committed to each other."

You should approach purchasing a property with your partner as if it were a business transaction, because that's how the mortgage lender perceives it.

Do you remember when we mentioned earlier that the lender sees an account number with two names attached? The mortgage lender expects to receive the agreed payment every month to that account.

The mortgage lender isn't concerned with your Facebook relationship status; they only care about receiving the payment on time each month. If the payment isn't made, both parties will be held accountable for the missed payment.

Here's where it gets serious. Data from Lloyds Banking Group lenders, including Halifax and Bank of Scotland, suggests that around 63% of mortgage completions involve two or more borrowers. That means most people taking on a mortgage are doing so with someone else. Mortgage lenders treat this as joint and several liability, meaning each borrower is fully responsible for the entire mortgage debt, not just their individual share.

If the mortgage is £1,000 per month and you both agree to split the payments equally, and one side fails to pay their share, both parties are held responsible. Not just for the missing £500, but for the full £1,000.

So, what happens if something goes wrong...

Your emotional connection may have concluded, but your business relationship is far from over.

If you have a 25-year mortgage and do not sell the property or at least your share, you might end up in a business relationship with someone you may not want to speak to again for over twenty years. Research indicates that disentangling from a joint mortgage after a breakup can take around a year on average. Some surveys have found that around 42% of married respondents said it took longer to resolve their mortgage than to finalise their divorce.

It's important to remember that the lender cares only about your ability to make monthly payments, not about your emotional relationship. Whether you communicate with your ex-partner or not doesn't matter, as long as one or both of you cover the total monthly payment amount.

My Ex Has Stopped Paying Their Share of the Mortgage

This part is essential for you to understand. If your ex isn't contributing their share, using the example we discussed earlier—a £1,000 monthly mortgage split 50/50—you might need to pay their share to avoid losing the property.​

Missed or late payments affect both of your credit reports, not just one. A missed mortgage payment can stay on your report for up to six years, and it may take months — sometimes over a year — for your credit profile to recover after a missed payment. This isn’t just an inconvenience; it could impact your borrowing ability for years to come.

If you both choose to sell the property and you have been paying your ex's missed payments, your ex will still be entitled to a share of the profits — even though the property might have been repossessed if you had not stepped in to cover the payments.​

Now, do you understand why this must be treated as a business deal?

The Hidden Risk: No Legal Protection for Unmarried Couples

Here's something that catches many couples off guard. If you're not married or in a civil partnership, you generally have very limited automatic legal rights over your partner's assets, regardless of how long you've been together. The so-called "common law marriage" does not exist in UK law, yet nearly half (around 49%) of cohabiting couples mistakenly believe it does.

A staggering number of unmarried couples seeking legal advice lack formal property or financial agreements. Some surveys of family law clients indicate this could be as high as 93%. This means that if things go wrong, couples may face lengthy disputes, expensive litigation, and substantial financial losses — often because the legal protections they believed they had simply don't exist.​

This highlights the importance of understanding the difference between buying as joint tenants—where ownership is split equally—and buying as tenants in common, where each person can own a different share. Research indicates that only about 14% of cohabiting couples who purchase property together opt for a tenants in common arrangement, even though this arrangement can better protect unequal financial contributions.

You might want to proceed with the joint purchase — we are not trying to discourage you. We are just ensuring you understand and approach the commitment properly.

Like any relationship, evaluate who you are getting into bed with (pardon the pun). Here are some key factors to consider:

1. How Is Your Partner With Money?

Does your partner overspend or show little regard for money? If your partner is somewhat reckless with money, there might be an issue with them paying their share of the mortgage. Research by Relate found that around one in seven UK adults with debt admit to hiding it from a partner, with roughly half citing shame or embarrassment as the main reason. If a financial problem is hidden beneath the surface, it will eventually come to light — and a mortgage will only make it worse.

2. Does Your Partner Prioritise Making Bill Payments on Time?

If you have a partner who is constantly being hounded about unpaid mobile phone bills or who always has other bill arrears, you cannot expect there not to be an issue with a large monthly outlay like a mortgage payment. Remember, any missed payment on a joint mortgage affects both credit files equally.

3. Does Your Partner Already Have Debt?

Is the debt excessive? Is your partner struggling with those payments? You should never consider adding more debt responsibility to someone who already finds it tough. When lenders assess a joint mortgage application, they review both credit histories side by side — including late payments, defaults, CCJs, IVAs, and any other signs of financial instability from the past six years.

4. Does Your Partner Earn Enough to Pay Their Share?

Don't accept an answer like "It's okay; I can manage £500 per month on a mortgage." It needs to be clear that your partner can. Most lenders will lend between 4 and 5.5 times your joint income, and the average first-time buyer deposit in England currently sits at around £68,000. These are big numbers. Use our budget planner to see, in black and white, what is affordable for both of you.

5. Is Your Partner's Job Stable?

How long have they been employed? Is it full-time? If they are self-employed, how secure is their income? You don't want to enter into a financial commitment with someone who is frequently leaving their job or losing it. It will put additional pressure on you. Mortgage lenders will scrutinise employment history as part of their affordability assessment, and job instability is a red flag.​

These are just some considerations before you take this big step. Take your time; there's no rush. TRDG is always here in your corner.

The Real Debt Guy is a qualified financial adviser and a UK debt expert. The information in this article is considered to be true and correct at the publication date.