How can I be happy?

The Surface-Level Argument: Why Money Seems to Equal Happiness

Having a lot of money might make it easier to achieve happiness. It removes worries about expenses, such as bills, securing your children's future, or maintaining a vehicle for work. This financial freedom allows you to indulge in luxuries like high-end gym and spa memberships, weekend trips with friends, or luxury handbags and designer trainers.

But here's the thing—these are all just things: material goods purchased to give you a fleeting sense of happiness.

The Hedonic Treadmill: Why More Money Doesn't Equal More Happiness

You might also say that those who truly believe money brings happiness assume they will be unhappy without it. We refer to these individuals as 'money equals happiness people.' By viewing happiness from their perspective, you can understand why they link money with happiness.

But if that were true, you'd think the more money someone has, the happier they'd be. This would mean that the richest person in the world would also be the happiest. However, we know that's not the case at all.

Money functions like a drug for individuals with this mindset. Material possessions such as handbags and trainers are part of this addictive appeal. Most people turn to drugs to escape their reality and seek a world where everything is enjoyable. They desire laughter and happiness, but these feelings are fleeting—created by their brain, leading them to believe in a temporary illusion. This psychological effect is called hedonic adaptation, in which people tend to revert to their usual happiness levels regardless of positive or negative changes in their lives.

When money equals happiness people suddenly acquire a lot of money or purchase something new, they experience a burst of joy. During that moment, life feels fantastic. However, once the money is gone or the new thing becomes outdated, they can fall into a deep low. Similar to drug users, the more they indulge, the more they crave to recapture that feeling.

Money equals happiness people can go from wanting £10,000 to £100,000 and then to £1,000,000. It continues, chasing an ever-moving target that never quite brings lasting satisfaction.

Here's what recent research reveals: there is an optimal financial threshold for happiness. A groundbreaking study by researchers found that the ideal annual income for maximum well-being is approximately £52,000 gross (roughly £3,850 net per month). Beyond this point, additional money yields significantly diminishing returns on happiness.

This is an important insight for UK residents, especially those under financial strain. The good news? You don't need to be a millionaire to be happy. What you do need is enough to meet your basic needs and enjoy a modest sense of financial security.

Recent research shows that the feeling of control over your life, not the actual amount of money, accounts for about 75% of the link between money and happiness. Financial freedom, therefore, is less about amassing wealth and more about having the independence to live life on your own terms.

The UK Happiness Crisis: Why Money Alone Isn't the Answer

The UK's well-being situation is worrying. As of 2025, around 7 million adults, more than Scotland's entire population, are experiencing what researchers term the "Happiness Poverty Line," with life satisfaction rated five or less on a 0-10 scale.

What is especially concerning is that financial hardship impacts more than just your finances; it also severely affects mental health. According to research by the Money and Mental Health Policy Institute, 1.5 million people in England face both problem debt and mental health challenges at the same time. Those with mental health issues are 3.5 times more likely to fall into problem debt than those without, forming a dangerous cycle that's hard to break.

This is precisely why it's crucial to understand the real connection between money and happiness. If you're stuck in a debt cycle, seeking money as the answer to happiness will only exacerbate the problem

How Emotional Spending Creates Financial Problems

Have you ever heard of retail therapy? It's just what it sounds like: shopping to boost your mood. When people feel down, they often shop as a form of therapy, buying things to feel better. And it can work! However, once the shopping is over, the bags are put away, they're left with the same sense of emptiness.

This pattern is especially risky for individuals already facing financial stress. Those who spend money to fill a happiness gap are highly prone to debt issues. The cycle continues: feeling unhappy, spending, getting temporary relief, and then feeling worse when the credit card bill comes.

Breaking the Cycle: Understanding What Really Brings Lasting Happiness

By examining how money relates to happiness, it becomes clear that money itself isn't the source of happiness. Instead, it functions as a tool, a means to achieve goals rather than a goal in itself.

What actually matters for sustained wellbeing? Experiences, relationships, autonomy, and security. Not the latest designer trainers or a luxury handbag gathering dust in your wardrobe.

When Wealth Can't Substitute for Genuine Connection

There once was a woman who believed so strongly that money would bring her happiness that she was willing to spend her life in a relationship, uncertain if she was truly happy.

When she and her partner first started dating, he pulled out all the stops to show off his wealth. Michelin-star restaurants, an expensive car, designer gifts, and lavish weekend breaks. It looked perfect from the outside, the sort of relationship that Instagram would showcase. However, there's a key problem with building a relationship on material possessions rather than a genuine connection.

Over time, cracks began to show in their relationship. Without strong emotional roots, the wealth couldn't keep everything together. Eventually, she made the choice to leave him.

The man was very wealthy and thought he could only make his partner happy by giving her gifts. He associated love with the ability to spend money, a common misconception among those who believe that money equals happiness. However, true, meaningful relationships need much more than financial resources. They depend on vulnerability, emotional engagement, effective communication, and real connection.

The Real Source of Relationship Happiness

The same woman entered a relationship with someone who had much less money but offered infinitely more emotionally. She felt happier than in her previous relationship, not because of money, but because she valued something far more important: an authentic connection.

She realised that her relationship and the wealth associated with it were not making her happy. The riches were actually covering up deep unhappiness. She needed to go through it to understand that money could not give her happiness. What truly brought her joy was being with someone who genuinely cared about her well-being, who was present and who communicated.

This is a powerful lesson: if you're unhappy in a relationship, throwing money at the problem won't fix it. Financial stress can harm a relationship, but financial security alone cannot build a healthy one.